Erschrocken + Neun tage zu verlassen

Well, a few minutes ago, I got scared to death... I learned that actually I left my computer in the lounge where anybody could take it and leave with my beautiful and real helpful gadget..it's not the first time I leave something behind, I lost a cellphone once and a wallet, and it is so usual that i don't even know where the hell I'm leaving my stuff...and having in mind a totally freak out when I lose something I should be extremely more careful about my stuff, specially my gadgets...and my clothes, my notebooks, my pens, and so on...

Well, yesterday there was not too much work, I thought I had to go to a workmate's house to work, but for some reason I decided (yes, I did) not to go, I decided to stay at home...and today well I had to say I was sleeping wich it's partially true, but what I did was doing part of my work for the next week, and it's mandatory for me to do it so...

Another guy came to my landlady house, and he's friend of one of my former friends and also we attended in the same secondary school, so it's refreshing talking to somebody like that...and more rain, last night were raining all night long...

Tomorrow it's not gonna be a regular day at work and Friday is not either...which kinda cool, but I don't know if it would take more energy to fulfill the work tomorrow, but at least it's gonna be a change in the rutine...fuck and I really need it, plus tomorrow it's gonna be a morning/afternoon day of work not the usual only-morning, which is also kind of weird...

And Friday as well is gonna be a morning/afternoon kind of day so fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk, well at least when this hell twirl is over, it's going to be actually Fünf tage zu verlassen.

Gone

There are times in our lives when we need to take important decisions...important choices, last friday I had to do it, and I did.

Maybe it was risky, dangerous, but having in mind that everybody talks about me, I think most of the damage is already done, so what else could happen if I just do exactly what people thinks I'm doing anyway?

I don't know, maybe I was thinking clearly, I had to think pretty much about what were the options, leaving this town, to another one just because I was horny...I wasn't thinking with my fucking head, I was thinking with my fucking dick...

To me it was a surprise going to that town, and find it was so peaceful and clean, so fucking different from this town where the garbage and the chaos is everywhere, that town made me think it could be maybe a good idea to get a motorbike and going live there, even though my life there was not gonna be a perfect and beautiful life, at least I could keep my privacy, my life, the way I wanna live it.

I'd wish my work and my life would depend just from my talent and my knowledge and not from the way other people thinks about me, but that's the way it goes...it was not a perfect strategy of hidding, I made mistakes, people saw us, yes, but what can I do? Tomorrow is gonna be a hard day, maybe I'm gonna be exposed, and laughing, pointing, whispering is gonna be what everyday is gonna bring, then I have no option but running away from this dusty town, and then it's gonna be me, only me and my talent what make the difference, but at the end of the day it's fear what defines me, and what I am. I've become fear.