Eine Nacht der Kerzen

This evening was a night of candles in this deeply retarded town placed in the middle of a stinky jungle. the day actually didn't start that bad, well actually it did. My landlady (somebody who is like a mom to me in this place) is left to Barranquilla, coz some uncle of hers died last night, or maybe because the won the local bingo, like the last time, when I suspect I paid for their tickets and they (she and her sister) won and they left me here with fever and flu, in a aweful ocasion I want to forget forever and ever... well they left this morning... and I left to the school where I was supposed to coordinate guys cleaning the streets... but there was chaos.

My boss is not in this town, and the people who is taking care of his functions is exactly like me...we're not doers, so the chaos was all over the place, well even when I'm not a doer, I know that actually I have to do things...and that was what happened today...well I took the people I had to coordinate and we did our job, and I had to spend my money to finish the labor...later lunch, and I think I don't stand the people who comes to have their meals in this house. I start to feel a deep rejection towards them...and  I know that's bad...but what can I do? and since I don't do a good fake, it's obvious they know I don't like them too much, what I hate the most is that they seem to have some priviliges and the quality of my food (when it's me who's paying for everything while they pay some of their debt), and it's SO FUCKING UNFAIR.

Well after lunch and some "socializing" with the sons of bitch, I went to sleep, and I woke up just to do my eveining role on the candles light...total failure...people I was suppose to take care of , they were out of control, I don't know how I could stand, and I know this is gonna go against me, I don't know if tomorrow, or maybe monday, my boss is gonna be so pissed when he finds out...and that's not the ugly part, my workmates are also thinking I'm that bad, maybe they think I'm the real responsible for what happened, but I'm just one of 24 people there, I don't think I have to take all the responsability, I don't think so...

Now, after watching tv and more socializing, after having a regular meal, (which I'm sure was much better for the highladers sons of bitch) I'm here and I wanna sleep, but I can't...

Why I should leave

Today, was a good day, until I´ve found out again the reason I wanna leave. The reason is very simple by the way. I can´t stand people thinking they´re better than they really are. And the place I work is filled with this kind of people, young people teenagers, I can understand they´re young and they wanna live and they wanna have dreams and stuff just like I once did.

But the problem is why if they come from a town in the middle of a hot jungle and they have like zero chances of leaving this fucking town, they think they´re better and they deserve more than anybody else around, that´s why I hate working with this people, I´m afraid it´s not a general situation.

I´ve been working with four teams of people, and just one, just one I see once a week is the one I hate the most, horrible, horrible girls thinking they´re beauty or thinking they´re kind of special, c´mon, and yes, the horrible missgebildete people, well pretty much just one, how can somebody so physically horrible posibly think they got something to laugh about other people.

Well, that´s the problem, because maybe they think they can laugh at me, and maybe they can, and maybe I shouldn´t allow them, but fuck them, if they don´t respect me, there´s no reason in the whole world I should respect them, but this take back to the begining the reason I don´t wanna be here in the first place. People laughing. That´s the thing I hate the most in the world and maybe one day I just would take my stuff and leave this fucking town, where everything is going to hell, where everything is so far far away, where there´s nothing good, and maybe just a bunch of people is.

That´s why I can forget I was left behind here, but as far as I can go, I´m gonna take everything that it gives to me, and well I have to give something in return, but it´s not gonna be love. I just wanna say FUCK YOU BITCHES, FUCK YOU ALL, FUCK YOU MISSGEBILDETE, FUCK YOU, and GO TO HELL.

Well, maybe I´m just waiting for the moment, the right moment for me to go, for me to leave this fucking town, once and for all and forget about all the shitty things that I´ve been through here.

VAYANSE AL INFIERNO NOJODA, PERO FRESCO QUE SI USTED LEE ESTO NO ES CON USTED JEJEJEJE.

BYE BYE