Eine Nacht der Kerzen

This evening was a night of candles in this deeply retarded town placed in the middle of a stinky jungle. the day actually didn't start that bad, well actually it did. My landlady (somebody who is like a mom to me in this place) is left to Barranquilla, coz some uncle of hers died last night, or maybe because the won the local bingo, like the last time, when I suspect I paid for their tickets and they (she and her sister) won and they left me here with fever and flu, in a aweful ocasion I want to forget forever and ever... well they left this morning... and I left to the school where I was supposed to coordinate guys cleaning the streets... but there was chaos.

My boss is not in this town, and the people who is taking care of his functions is exactly like me...we're not doers, so the chaos was all over the place, well even when I'm not a doer, I know that actually I have to do things...and that was what happened today...well I took the people I had to coordinate and we did our job, and I had to spend my money to finish the labor...later lunch, and I think I don't stand the people who comes to have their meals in this house. I start to feel a deep rejection towards them...and  I know that's bad...but what can I do? and since I don't do a good fake, it's obvious they know I don't like them too much, what I hate the most is that they seem to have some priviliges and the quality of my food (when it's me who's paying for everything while they pay some of their debt), and it's SO FUCKING UNFAIR.

Well after lunch and some "socializing" with the sons of bitch, I went to sleep, and I woke up just to do my eveining role on the candles light...total failure...people I was suppose to take care of , they were out of control, I don't know how I could stand, and I know this is gonna go against me, I don't know if tomorrow, or maybe monday, my boss is gonna be so pissed when he finds out...and that's not the ugly part, my workmates are also thinking I'm that bad, maybe they think I'm the real responsible for what happened, but I'm just one of 24 people there, I don't think I have to take all the responsability, I don't think so...

Now, after watching tv and more socializing, after having a regular meal, (which I'm sure was much better for the highladers sons of bitch) I'm here and I wanna sleep, but I can't...