Every Single Day...

Every single day in this place looks exactly the same: waking up very early in the morning, gotta take my soap and my stuff to take a "shower" while it's still dark, I say "Good Morning" to the landlady and then I start thinking about how the hell I got here, meaning fuck, I was abroad when it turned out I had to be working here, then I try to clean the dirty I got in the night.

Then, I go to my room, where I dress up, I see all my clothes hanging from a rope, and it loosk like my life is so tiny that it´s  in that small and simple room, with no luxury, and that´s just me, brushing and washing my teeth, but I´m not sure why I should be taking care of me, I don´t wanna look hot in here, it´s maybe I had so nice things to do, that begging that my toothpaste and my washing can actually get whiter can actually being something real cool.

I´m dressed up and then I have to go for breakfast, it´s a simple food, and as usual, when I´m done having my breakfast I have to go...then I´m walking in the street, 4 blocks to the place I have to spend 6 hours, it doesn't look like that much, when you´re going to stand people, and not to work in something you may like, it looks like you´re going down to hell, when I get the door, I remember the first time I got here, I was happy, I had hope, it wasn´t that horrible then, I had something to lie on, something to be faithful to, I had a life, back there where somebody was there for me, ready to do whatever to have with them.

I walk inside and then, it´s usual laugh and pain, both sides, but tha laugh is like there´s nothing else to do but laugh, just go for it, and then facing what I don´t wanna face, but it´s not that I might not like doing what I do, it´s just some of them are so reluctant to grow...that it gets me, it hurts me, it fucking drains my energy and my will.
And, for instance...given the fact I´m gonna stay here for a month is not helping, every single time I want to feel kinda good I have to go to Sincelejo because here, here there´s absolutely nothing I might like, it´s so fucking far away from everywhere, that it´s not like I want to be there all the time, and I wanna run even though it´s gonna be a hard and long way...maybe someday I´d like to run it by foot, lol, maybe it´s not that hard or not that long.

If things were so easy...when I leave this place, I have like 30 or 45 minutes to be online, and then go back to have my lunch, and then it´s work, work, work, or working out, and it sucks my energy in every possible way but somehow I know it´s good to me...then back to dinner, watching some TV, maybe listening music, then more work and finally when I go back to my hammock, I´m thinking the day is going to repeat all over and over again, and that maybe I´m not gonna have the energy to hold on...or maybe, just maybe I am.