Genug

Yes, it is enough, fucking enough, after I've been trying to help and trying to be better enough, now I'm the bad guy.

I have to recognize I have issues when I look like the bad guy, I don't wanna be a villain, I don't wanna be unfair, but I think I wasn't unfair, I was extremely fair, maybe I failed trying to explain why things happened the way it happened.

But I'm hurt, after sacrificing part of my salary, my time and my patience, the only thing I get back is anger against me, no that's not the way it works, I'm sorry.

I don't even have words enough to explain the way I feel. I don't.

I try to keep my mind busy enough to stop thinking about how comfortable could be living away from here, but it gets me headache, and also the viruses around, are cruel and mean, and I suspect they may come for me next week.

I'm bringing a psychologist in order to help those kids, because I'm afraid they're suffering the same virus the other kids were doing, envy, they feel envy they can't understand other people may progress, they wanna see other people down, and they´re happy about it, and I don't understand how they can feel the way they do, it's horrible that they're so young, I have to get somebody to help them. But I don't know if they deserve that. Maybe they do, maybe they don't.

Meanwhile this week is fading away and I'm gonna take chances, maybe tomorrow, but I'm scared, that's one of my biggest issues, I'm afraid to be exposed, to get gurt, to allow me feel nice, so I have to explore my inside so I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.