11 Tagen zu verlassen

Well, it's eleven days to leave this fucking town...well it will be eleven days if only my boss decides to keep his promises and let us go next week...but you never know he may change his mind in the last minute, well that depends on the moon, as far as I know.

Today I learned that actually there was a party this weekend ... and I didn't attend 'cause I heard in the mass last friday there was no party for this weekend but within two weeks, well it was ok..I understand that actually I'm not that party boy...but at least I could attend and eat, total and absolute fail...and the alcohol...so fucking fail.

But well, I used this weekend to complete part of the second fourth of the year and I just have to make the reports, sigh....well today it was a long, long day, something is wrong, I don't know if it's wrong with the computer, or if it's wrong with the wifi signal here in the school, my phone is working perfectly and it's helped me a lot not be out of the world by the weekend, but definitely something is wrong with the signal...I don't wanna look like villain, but that happened since they connect another school to our Interner service, and honestly I don't thing they can give good use of the service...you know facebook and hotmail are not exactly great use for some people for the internet.

Today I tried to take it as easy as I could...but again is hard, hard to stand some people that evidently don't want make any progress...they suckkk...and the worst part is they're making other people real smart and real good, really lazy, I only hope they get the fuck away from my path, they don't deserve anything coming from me...and I'm getting tired of playing the clown...is there any chance for me to succeed in this career? more when I'm planning to join a post-graduated course, that is actually kind of expansive...is this a good way to go? is it a good move? so many questions come to my head and I don't know the answers, I can't foretell what's coming in one, two or three years...I just wanna succeed and do things I like to do, at least I'm doing it on my own, and I'm not depending on anybody.

Every Single Day...

Every single day in this place looks exactly the same: waking up very early in the morning, gotta take my soap and my stuff to take a "shower" while it's still dark, I say "Good Morning" to the landlady and then I start thinking about how the hell I got here, meaning fuck, I was abroad when it turned out I had to be working here, then I try to clean the dirty I got in the night.

Then, I go to my room, where I dress up, I see all my clothes hanging from a rope, and it loosk like my life is so tiny that it´s  in that small and simple room, with no luxury, and that´s just me, brushing and washing my teeth, but I´m not sure why I should be taking care of me, I don´t wanna look hot in here, it´s maybe I had so nice things to do, that begging that my toothpaste and my washing can actually get whiter can actually being something real cool.

I´m dressed up and then I have to go for breakfast, it´s a simple food, and as usual, when I´m done having my breakfast I have to go...then I´m walking in the street, 4 blocks to the place I have to spend 6 hours, it doesn't look like that much, when you´re going to stand people, and not to work in something you may like, it looks like you´re going down to hell, when I get the door, I remember the first time I got here, I was happy, I had hope, it wasn´t that horrible then, I had something to lie on, something to be faithful to, I had a life, back there where somebody was there for me, ready to do whatever to have with them.

I walk inside and then, it´s usual laugh and pain, both sides, but tha laugh is like there´s nothing else to do but laugh, just go for it, and then facing what I don´t wanna face, but it´s not that I might not like doing what I do, it´s just some of them are so reluctant to grow...that it gets me, it hurts me, it fucking drains my energy and my will.
And, for instance...given the fact I´m gonna stay here for a month is not helping, every single time I want to feel kinda good I have to go to Sincelejo because here, here there´s absolutely nothing I might like, it´s so fucking far away from everywhere, that it´s not like I want to be there all the time, and I wanna run even though it´s gonna be a hard and long way...maybe someday I´d like to run it by foot, lol, maybe it´s not that hard or not that long.

If things were so easy...when I leave this place, I have like 30 or 45 minutes to be online, and then go back to have my lunch, and then it´s work, work, work, or working out, and it sucks my energy in every possible way but somehow I know it´s good to me...then back to dinner, watching some TV, maybe listening music, then more work and finally when I go back to my hammock, I´m thinking the day is going to repeat all over and over again, and that maybe I´m not gonna have the energy to hold on...or maybe, just maybe I am.